Who do we choose to be? Cultivating Conscious Character

Cultivating Conscious Character

Posted By Julie Wilder on July 2024

"Wow. Thank you. I never think about what's going on behind the scenes at Spiral Circle and I am delighted with this message." – Pam, via email

I received that comment last week when I shared with our community one of Spiral Circles cornerstone values, Conscious Context. We've been quietly but consistently dedicating a lot of time, resources and mental and emotional labor toward cultivating the conscious culture we want to be a part of. This feedback encouraged me to share more about our values framework.

First, some context. Having been tested in previous work cultures that turned toxic and knowing how easy it is for spiritually oriented organizations to drift into cultish dynamics, it was crucial to proactively identify our core values. Our Director of Conscious Culture, Chonteau McElvin, helps mindfully nurture this aspect of our organization. The framework development occurred in collaboration with our team over a few years and took about four years to fully anchor within Spiral Circle. Along the way, we made missteps and had our blind spots revealed, but we also gave one another grace during what has proven to be incredible personal and interpersonal growth.

From our handbook:

Spiral Circle's Conscious Culture Values Framework is a reflective practice and evaluative process to help guide our decision making and clearly communicate what we stand for.

We refer to these values internally to help us discern who is a compatible fit for our organization and to communicate what we, as colleagues, are encouraged to cultivate within ourselves and on our shelves to maximize collective joy at Spiral and beyond.

This values framework guides us in choosing who, what, when, where and how we want to commit our focus, money and influence. The five C's of Conscious Culture are: Character, Contribution, Context, Celebration and Collaboration.

Today, I'd love to share with you our Conscious Character Value. It's an incredible framework for evaluating not just the kinds of colleagues you might want to work with, but also serves as a springboard for evaluating the character of the kind of leaders you want in office, the kinds of friends you want to be surrounded by and even the kind of person you want to engage with romantically. Here it is, right from our handbook:

At Spiral Circle, we value individuals who consciously cultivate their unique character deeply rooted in a foundation of emotional intelligence. They have a strong sense of self and are secure in knowing who they are, where they shine and what's important to them. They also know where they may have opportunities to improve and seek to do so with patience, humor and gentleness because they are their own best friend.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is a skill set that allows it's close cousins, maturity and professionalism, to up-level our authentic self in interpersonal relationships for better human experiences. This one skill set, consistently practiced, helps us become self-reliant, resilient and more readily able to tap into our intuition with minimal interference for optimal outcomes.

Traits of people who have a high degree of competency with emotional intelligence are those who are self-aware, can self-regulate, have empathy and are securely motivated by an internal drive. They typically have a growth mindset and are curious, solutions oriented, courageous, adaptable, compassionate, pragmatically optimistic and discerning.

They also know when silence is golden and how important it is to pause to analyze, reflect, integrate or simply wait for the right moment. Equally and importantly, they also know when to take action, speak up and request clarification or assistance. Critically, they distance themselves from drama, gossip and angst and guard themselves against projecting their past traumas onto other people and situations.

Colleagues: We recognize that our patrons are often looking to us to help guide them on their path, so it is incredibly important that we have a team that has an above average amount of emotional intelligence to ethically handle many types of vulnerable individuals. Additionally, our internal working environment need not be distracted by unnecessary drama for our own mental health and desire to invest our energy in this space so we can actually be motivated to show up and do the work we are called to do. As a team, we set an example of how to walk in this world and that example has more impact and influence than any classroom education could.
Patrons: Our product offerings are geared towards building this type of character in our patrons. Exploring empowerment subject areas without emotional intelligence is a slippery slope into narcissism. Intersectional education without emotional intelligence results in fraility and is harmful to others, perpetuating all the -isms. Relationships of all kinds without emotional intelligence escalate drama and aggravate situations. Spiritual explorations without emotional intelligence can lead to delusions of grandeur and spiritual supremacy.
Community: As we offer transformative tools for character development rooted in EQ, we are able to positively influence entire families, organizations and eventually this trickles out to active citizenry. EQ is Power. And we aim to increase the capacity for being powerful citizens so that we can work together to address the multiple crisis we are facing as a society.

While this is a valuable framework for evaluating character in adults, as a mother with a desire to develop emotional intelligence in my child, there are three character traits I have encouraged: curiosity, courage, and creativity. These three traits are the secret ingredients for cultivating a compassionate human whose personality is oriented toward the formation of emotional intelligence and a growth mindset. Focusing on these three traits, in order and in unison, can help shift anyone into higher levels of emotional intelligence and a growth mindset.